theater people

I never thought that I would say this, but I miss Fieldston Theatre.

I kind of miss that weird, let's all pile on the subway and harmonize atmosphere. I miss knitting backstage with sophomores and having political arguments. I miss running around the auditorium during tech, and making sure to keep the lights on in any room that Josh was in. I miss tango dancing with Brandon, and dressing up on Thursdays. I miss sitting with Stacey in math class and gossiping about Stephanie Stone. I miss Krakowsky's office, but from like 10th grade, back when it was still good. I miss chilling in Clare's office for an hour and just talking. I miss joking that I kept a sleeping bag in the ACT and that people believed me. It was really a community.

There's this freshman theater company called 'Renegade' that has the worst taste in shows and has absolutely no idea what they're doing, but are eager to do whatever it is that they think they need to do. They'll take whatever actors, directors, sets, props, audience members that they can get. It's intensely bootleg. I work for them. There's also the Kenyon College Dance and Drama Club. You know how you hear great things about Kenyon Drama? That's the KCDC. I work for them too. But it's not the same. Everything's too big. There is so much theatre going on, there's no way to know everyone involved. Everyone seems to have done theater in high school on some scale, seems to think that they're destined for stardom, they're the next Paul Newman, the next Alison Jannings.

Most of all, I miss directing. I miss sitting down with a text and analyzing it and working with people to bring it alive. I miss blocking. I even miss doing GOATE work. Here, I'm a stage manager. I'm actually in the middle of PSMing two shows right now. I sit, write down blocking, call cues. My director doesn't know what he's doing. I'm pretty much assistant directing and stage managing. Doesn't matter. There are no cues anyway, so he doesn't really need me. The other show that I'm doing is a little more legit, but I'm afraid that the same thing will happen. That I will be stuck in the administrative position and trying to make sure that the actors and director and getting through to each other. It's scary and lonely. Everyone tries to one up each other, rather than helping each other out. I was taught that theater was a collaborative art. I guess that isn't true everywhere.